omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
