ya dads aren't the best wingmen
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize