Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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