Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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