I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
