the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
