I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
