If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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