I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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