My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
