I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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