it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
