I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
