Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
