please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
COCAINE IS GR8
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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