Kiss
Puke
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
