Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
