I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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