One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Porn is love you can see.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I want her autograph on my taint
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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