it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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