He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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