Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
