Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
