nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
