I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
