do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
