I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
