At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
