My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
