There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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