return my video game
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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