Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize