this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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