It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
