i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
