you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize