I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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