Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
