After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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