We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
