I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
