he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
