I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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