I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
