I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
