I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
third nipple confirmed
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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