So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
