Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
