I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize