Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
