what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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