They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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