you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize