Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
