He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
