remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
