can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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