I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
