so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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