just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
