Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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