im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
