...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
