i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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