So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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