I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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